Remembering How to Feel

There are some feelings you don’t miss until you realize they’ve quietly returned. Not because you went looking for them. In fact, you may have even given up on them entirely.

They don't return because you did the work perfectly. Though reading all those personal development books probably didn’t hurt.

But because life, unexpectedly, placed someone in your path who reminded your body how to respond again.

I didn’t know I was still capable of this.

That gentle flutter.

That lightness in the chest.

That soft smile that appears without effort.

For a long time, I assumed those sensations belonged to an earlier version of me- someone younger, more naïve, less worn down by disappointment. I thought they had been traded for wisdom, realism, and restraint.

But lately, something has shifted.

The Surprise of Feeling Alive Again

What’s surprised me most isn’t the connection itself (though it is a most wonderful surprise)- it’s my reaction to it.

The way my nervous system settles instead of tenses.

The way warmth replaces vigilance.

The way I feel energized afterward instead of depleted.

I don’t feel pulled or pushed.

I don’t feel like I have to earn the moment or protect myself from it.

I just feel… present. Safe.

And quietly delighted.

It’s been a long time since connection felt like that.

Sweetness Without Cost

There’s a special sweetness in meeting someone who asks nothing of you except your presence.

Someone whose humor lands easily.

Whose way of being feels kind and energizing to your body.

Whose energy doesn’t demand explanation or effort.

I notice that I laugh more freely.

That I blush- which still makes me laugh, because I didn’t think I did that anymore. (Did I ever? Who am I??)

That I walk away from conversations feeling a little brighter than before.

Not because anything dramatic happened-

but because something gentle did.

Remembering Myself Through Another

What I’m realizing is that sometimes, the greatest gift in connection is the way they reflect something back to you- a part of yourself you assumed had gone quiet or disappeared altogether.

Joy.

Curiosity.

A soft sense of possibility.

Feelings I thought I had outgrown- or lost completely- revealing themselves again, simply because someone showed up as who they are.

I'm a firm believer that people don't cross our paths or come into our lives for no reason. There are always lessons to be learned. Whether we can recognize it and actually learn is another matter entirely. Often the lessons are painful- the heartache and hurt gets carried within us and haunts us usually far longer than it should. We dwell on these painful experiences and subsequent lessons, often neglecting to see the wonderful possibilities still ahead of us if only we can use those opportunities to grow and be open for what's meant for us.

In my experience, it always happens when you've given up. You're done. You're tired. Burnt out and maybe a little jaded. No more, you say. I simply can't do it anymore. Thats when life introduces someone unexpected. 

Sometimes it's simply a friend to walk along with you on your path. Or perhaps a much needed teacher or mentor with sage advice and hard-earned wisdom. Or maybe even a lover to show you the depth and gentleness of how passion and true intimacy should be experienced.

They arrive to remind you that you’re still capable of being changed by feeling. That possibility and being truly present is still an option.

A Quiet Kind of Gratitude

I don’t need to name what this is.

I don’t need to decide where it’s going.

I just feel grateful.

Grateful to know my heart still responds this way.

Grateful that my body still recognizes safety paired with aliveness.

Grateful that sweetness can arrive without urgency or cost.

And right now, that feels like more than enough.

Here's to optimism and possibility.